sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
