Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
