That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
