1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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