The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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