is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
