If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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