if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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