During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
