Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
