Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
