At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
