I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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