Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
