South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We talked him into tasing himself.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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