This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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