He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
