I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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