carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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