i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
