Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
