I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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