Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
