I can tuck mytits in my pants
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize