My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
