he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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