I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
