She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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