so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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