FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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