I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
