Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
