how can u be prego again
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize