I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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