I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
