Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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