Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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