I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
