Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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