AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
