The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
