Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
