i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
