So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
