Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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