Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
