Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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