i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize