I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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