This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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