kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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