put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
