dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
