She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She bit a glass in half.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
