fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
