Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
