Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
