The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
