We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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