Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
