I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
