We're like a lot better than the average bears
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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