You smell like stripper and shame
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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