I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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