End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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