You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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